While most of us are looking forward to Christmas, we here at Rhody Rampage would like to ensure that none of our loyal readers feel left out. So for those of you who celebrate differently from the rest of us… Happy Festivus! Yes, in the spirit of Frank Costanza, let’s begin the tradition.
As with any Festivus celebration, we begin with an airing of grievances:
URI Football – Would it kill you to win one lousy game?!? Or at least lose by less than twenty? The conference stutter step and lack of scholarships is no excuse for being out of almost every single game by halftime. When a one-win season next year will be an improvement, you know things are bad.
The PC Loss – The Rhody hoops team has been in every game this season… except the game against PC. You know, the same PC that lost to the not-so-great Boston College yesterday. It’s fine to have an occasional down game, but did it HAVE to be against the stupid Friars? Now no matter what happens this year, their fans will have a smug, stupid grin that won’t go away. And while we’re at it…
Conference Realignment – URI has a nice thing going with the A-10. And now who knows how many schools are going to be jumping ship. Xavier, Butler, Dayton, VCU… come on, this conference was beginning to ascend to real prominence! And just the entire conference realignment headache in general, with new changes and moves and rumors every week… SERENITY NOW!
Ahem. Let’s move onto the feats of strength!
Thorr Bjorn – The two of the greatest feats of strength in recent memory… Thorr’s ability to fire Jim Baron, and the subsequent hiring of Dan Hurley. It will undoubtedly transform the Rams into a force to be reckoned with sooner rather than later, regardless of what conference they’re in.
Xavier Munford – When Rhody had trouble putting points on the scoreboard early in the season, X was the savior for the Rams. The Auburn game, the Vermont game… Munford has saved this team a number of times, and it could be a lot worse than 4-7 if it weren’t for him.
Recruiting – E.C. Matthews. Hassan Martin. And two more scholarships to fill. It’s clear that Dan Hurley, Bobby Hurley, and Preston Murphy possess the strength to land top-flight players to join the University of Rhode Island.
And that concludes our traditional celebration. Now gather ’round your pole and enjoy the day. From Rhody Rampage to you and yours – Happy Festivus!